-Surviving excerpts from The Way of All the Erf: An Introduction to Croakamancy (Banned in the Magic Kingdom!)


Croakamancy is not the magic of being dead, no, that is the domain of dirt and doornails. Rather, Croakamancy is the magic of dying.

Predictamancers claim that only a few units have destinies. Croakamancers know that they are wrong.


Date-a-mancers say that love is a red string which connects two units. Shockmancers agree, and say that fear is a black one. And even a Thinkamancer can tell you that connections give you something to live for.

But when something you live for breaks, a piece of you dies with it. Sometimes all of you does, or all of you that matters.

To be Neutral is to live for nothing but defense. To disband is to live for nothing at all.


Naughtymancy is thrilling, but not quite happy. It is harmful to its users, because it is about harming oneself for power. The highs don’t last.

(Any master Mathamancer could write in five symbols a spell to burn a city in an instant. One over zero equals infinity. It’s a secret you shouldn’t share - isn’t that a rush?)


(NOTE: User was awarded 10 shmuckers for this post.)



    • Horatio Von Becker

      Thank you very much, that's a high compliment.

      • coineineagh

        Very nice. I wasn't paying attention, and I honestly thought it was another story update. It reads like one anyway. Kudos.

        • Horatio Von Becker

          Yes, exactly. I had a lot of insights I wanted to share - this probably wasn't all of them, even - but I just didn't have much of a narrative by the time I thought the deadline was. At some point I should probably expand this or something; I want to talk about the magic.

          • Brother Mirtillo

            Not much of a story, but it has some thoughts that hit some deep notes, starting with the entire first snippet. The red and black strings were my favorite jokes, and the principle of being Neutral was my favorite double-meaning. They just work on every level. I just wish I could see what kinds of stories could sprout from seeds such as these.