I don't usually write filk, or sing in the shower. But I did last night, and this monstrosity is the result.
It's sung to the tune of "The bastard King of England." Here is a link to an example of the song, althoug it's not quite safe for work.
And here is the song itself, it's at least as safe for work as the comic...
The Hampster Lord of Gobwin Knob
(to "The Bastard King of England" trad.)
Oh the minstrels sing
of an odd thing
that happened not long ago,
To a gaming geek
whose arms were weak
though his mind was keen to go.
He always wore a great t-shirt marked with a pizza splat
with which he tried
to show his pride
but he couldn't hide the fat.
He was big and round and full of peeps
and he rolled his dice by two and threes
and wrote of the Hamstard in his mom's basement.
Now Stanley the Plaid,
and the plan he had,
weren't worth a dime.
So Wanda the witch
called for a switch
to save his ass in time.
She brought a magic spell bought from a magic land
to call the perfect warlord
upon Stanley's command.
He was huge and fat and shouted boop,
and convinced his mind had flown the coop,
when Fate called the Hampster Lord to Gobwin Knob.
When Ansom the bold
came to be told
about this newest plight,
he sent for Jill
who was a pill
but deadly in a fight.
He sent the barbarian princess out upon an giant peep
to give the lout
a mighty clout
and kill the little creep.
He was fat and tired and wanted peace
and his terrible Tool came up to his knees,
but Fate called the Hampster Lord to Gobwin knob.
Now Bogroll the Troll had become his loyal friend,
but his breakfast made him ruthless and he used him to the end.
His desperate hand forged a mental band
to rouse the volcano and destroy the land
it might have been the end of Gobwin Knob!
He was mad and hurt and out of luck
so he broke the rules and shouted FUCK!
but Parson is still the Hampster Lord of Gobwin knob.